i found the following blog entry:


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Pretend You Can Hear Me: 21 very short stories 1 Charles: It’s raining here Rosa: Here too Charles: It’s not the same rain Rosa: I know 2 Charles: You’re back on Charles: I was waiting Charles: Did you go see the movie Rosa: I just got back Rosa: I kept thinking I could lean over and whisper to you Charles: But mine started a half hour after yours Charles: You would have given things away Rosa: I could have lied Charles: You’re mischievous Rosa: Tell me what you liked about it Charles: How do you know I liked it Rosa: I know your brain. 3 Rosa: Sometimes I don’t believe you’re real Charles: How could I not be real Charles: I’m talking to you right now Rosa: Yes, but it’s just typing Rosa: I can’t smell you 4 Rosa: Pretend you can hear me Charles: I can always hear you Rosa: Pretend I’m singing to you Charles: Sing me a lullaby Rosa: I’m singing now Rosa: My voice is scratchy, it sounds mournful Charles: Lullabies are like that Rosa: I’m getting to the end now Charles: I’m almost asleep 5 Rosa: It’s lunchtime here, cook for me Charles: I don’t understand Rosa: If you were here Rosa: Cook for me Charles: Oh, of course Charles: There’s a cast iron pan on the stove right now Charles: It’s got Chantarelles cooking in a little cream and black pepper Rosa: Mmmm Charles: Then, pumpkin soup…with chick peas and…escarole Rosa: I like food that’s orange Charles: Grass-fed beef, encrusted with pepper Rosa: I like it rare Charles: Carrots and turnips with it Rosa: Do I get dessert Charles: You always do 6 Rosa: What if this was all there was Charles: I don’t get it Rosa: If we had no bodies Rosa: No voices Rosa: Just words Charles: Ghosts with keyboards Rosa: Yes 7 Charles: They need me to stay Rosa: No Charles: I can’t help it Rosa: You could say no Charles: I can’t Rosa: Why not Charles: I’m tired of this, it’s always like this 8 Rosa: The birds in the linden tree are chirping like mad Charles: There’s traffic growling Charles: Someone is yelling Charles: People are honking their horns Rosa: The fridge is rumbling Charles: The maid is vacuuming the hallway Rosa: Some girls are jumping doubledutch, those chants they do Rosa: The thwacks of the rope, clapping Charles: The bed is thumping in the room next door 9 Charles: I’d put the heel of my hand in the hollow where your ribs meet Rosa: I’d wrap my hand around your neck Charles: I’d fuck your armpit Rosa: I’d untie your shoes 10 Charles: Remember when we met Rosa: It was someone’s birthday, that bar Charles: You said, this bar is awful Rosa: And you said, I’m leaving come with me Charles: We walked across the bridge Rosa: You said, I could talk to you all night Charles: It was true Rosa: And then you had to catch a plane Charles: By the time we first kissed, it was what, two months later Rosa: And I already knew you, from talking like this 11 Rosa: I’m tired of this Rosa: The bed is too cold without you Charles: Did you make a fire Rosa: No, that’s your job Rosa: I put on a sweater Rosa: All my sweaters smell like you 12 Charles: I can see that you’re on Charles: Why aren’t you answering me 13 Rosa: There’s something I never asked you before Charles: Ask me now Rosa: When you got off the plane, that first time you came back Rosa: When you saw me waiting Charles: You were wearing a brown dress Rosa: No, it was blue Rosa: Weren’t you afraid Charles: Afraid of what Rosa: That it wouldn’t work Charles: Why does it matter if I was afraid Charles: I’m here, I’m with you Rosa: You’re not here, you’re there 14 Charles: I thought I saw you in a crowd today Rosa: That’s impossible Charles: I know but I wanted it to be true 15 Rosa: Read to me Charles: That’s a lot of typing 16 Rosa: Oh good, you’re still up Charles: What’s wrong, it’s so late there Rosa: I had a nightmare Charles: Tell me Rosa: I dreamed I was waking up but I couldn’t open my eyes Rosa: And then it was so dark, and I couldn’t see then either Rosa: I kept trying to turn on the light but it was broken Charles: It was just a dream Rosa: I know Charles: Do you want me to call you Rosa: No, just promise me I’m not going blind Charles: Your eyes are perfect 17 Charles: I took the wrong train today Charles: And it reminded me of that time Rosa: Yes Rosa: I remember too 18 Rosa: Now we’re both away Charles: The house is all alone Rosa: It feels different talking to you from here Rosa: Instead of from there Charles: What does your room look like Rosa: Hotel rooms all look the same Charles: It’s foggy here Rosa: Here too Charles: It’s not the same fog Rosa: I know 19 Charles: I found it Rosa: What Charles: The picture you put between the pages of my book Rosa: Ah, slow reader Rosa: I don’t even remember which one I chose Charles: You’re looking at me Rosa: You must have shot it Charles: Yes, we were in the park Charles: You’re looking at me that way you do Rosa: What way Charles:Your eyes are warm when you look at me Rosa: I’m looking at you now 20 Charles: We won’t talk Charles: First you’ll close your eyes Rosa: Yes Charles: I’ll pick up your hair and smell the air underneath, where it meets your neck Rosa: Yes Charles: I’ll rest my head between your shoulder blades Rosa: No more, stop there Charles: You want me to leave you there Rosa: No, not at all Rosa: I want not to know what’s going to happen next Charles: You always want that 21 Charles: What if you had been in the next room this whole time Rosa: But you know I’m not, I’m here Charles: But just pretend Rosa: Well, if I knew that I was in the same hotel Rosa: In the room next door to you Rosa: But you didn’t know Rosa: That would be cruel Charles: What if neither of us knew Rosa: That would be beautiful

all i could think all the time is the pain of not being able to touch you.